Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Taylor Swift has "Tim McGraw" but I have "Faith Hill"

Have you ever wondered what the Taylor Swift's song Tim McGraw would sound like if it were written about Faith Hill instead?  I have.  And since Weird Al is soaking up rays in Cabo somewhere, I decided to take on the re-write myself.

For seven solid minutes, I had high hopes of making a full-on music video, but then I remembered that I have a job and a husband and children. I don't have time for that kind of fun.  So instead, I just snagged some pics off the web.  Faith Hill is much better to look at than I am anyway, so you're welcome.

I am very excited about the sophisticated digital device that I used to record this song: my iPhone 4.  Take that, Pro Tools.

I already know what you are going to say: "How can you make fun of Faith Hill when you can't sing, either?"

Well, Faith Hill has made millions of dollars as a professional singer and I sell insurance for a living.  Do we really want to have this conversation?

And now, ladies and gentlemen.... "Faith Hill"


"Faith Hill"
They say the way her brown eyes shined
Is how she got that record deal she signed
She says, "that's a lie."

But there were rides in Chevy trucks
And in the back of one tour bus
On the Nashville streets at night

It didn't take all of her boyfriends very long
To think she and tuning technology could make a song

When you think Mrs. McGraw
And she's singing your favorite song
Don't cry if it don't sound too strong
It sounds better on the radio
When you think happiness
Think of her in a little black dress
Or a Titans jersey on her chest
And in some old faded blue jeans
When you think Mrs. McGraw
Think Lucky S.O.B.

She called a fan a fool
Who grabbed a fist-full of Tim's family jewels
As he tried to sing

And let's not forget the night
She made Carrie Underwood cry
Right there on live TV

It's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet
We all agree that she's a star; we just wish that she could sing

When you think Mrs. McGraw
And she's singing your favorite song

Don't cry if it don't sound too strong
It sounds better on the radio
When you think happiness
Think of her in a little black dress
Or a Titans jersey on her chest
And in some old faded blue jeans
When you think Mrs. McGraw
Think Lucky S.O.B.

She's with her hottie husband there
At their house on Easy Street
Her face is on a cosmo mag
And her life is like a dream

So when you think Mrs. McGraw
And she's singing your favorite song
Don't cry if Cry don't sound too strong
It sounds better on the radio
When you think happiness
Think of her in a little black dress
Or a Titans jersey on her chest
And in some old faded blue jeans
When you think Mrs. McGraw
Think Lucky S.O.B.
Lucky S.O.B.
Oh, yeah

They say the way her brown eyes shined
Is how she got that record deal she signed
She says, "that's a lie."